In Nigeria, we drink poison and pray and fast not to have stomach ache

    BY MOSHOOD ISAMOTU

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The Late Prof. Dora Akunyili, the Amazon and stellar woman, was like the Biblical Queen Esther who in the face of adversity, demonstrated amazing courage when she spoke to King Xerxes of Persia asking him to spare the life of the Jews. She knew that her speaking up would have consequences, but she spoke up anyway.

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Prof. Akunyili demonstrated that same courage and proved that women could make a great difference and impact in public governance during President Olusegun Obasanjo’s administration. This iconic woman, as a DG of NAFDAC and Minster, got more accolades, decorations, and awards for her daring exploits than any Nigerian in recent times.

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During her stint as a Minister for Information, she initiated a national brand campaign titled: “Nigeria: Good People; Great Nation”. But beyond her intention to promote the positive attributes of her dear nation, Nigeria, and Nigerians to the world, she knew better the country she was promoting was special and unique.

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One thing that we excel in Nigeria is that, most often, we find it convenient to willfully abandon our duty and quick to handle over to God the very least of our responsibilities because we are men and women of faith and fate.

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Last Tuesday, I traveled to Ibadan, and the fact that I have been a good student of cost-effectiveness as tutored by my mentor and an elder statesman, Otunba Okusanya Olukayode Samuel, I decided not to go in my car. That would save me some bucks as driving in Nigeria is now a project with the new fuel price. That sounds nice and wise. But there are consequences, the magnitude of which we may not be able to imagine, quantitatively and qualitatively.

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One of the consequences of going on public transport is that I have surrendered the safety and security of the trip, not only to God, but to the whims and caprices of the driver too. It is a known fact that Nigerian drivers are very deficient when it comes to the issue of the safety and their behaviour at the wheel.

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I sat in the back seat of the Sienna bus in Ikorodu as I said my prayers silently for God’s speed. The driver surfaced from a corner, gargled something in his mouth, and rushed into the to take his seat assuring us that we would soon be in Ibadan. Without the aid of the Oyinbo witch called Google, he was confident of the time frame we would be in Ibadan if there was no unexpected traffic. We believed him anyway because he was accustomed to the road. But what could be in his mouth?  Incantation charms or a mixture of concoctions to enable him to see well on the road. When I saw his eyes turned red, I had to repeat my prayers two times and quote some verses from the Book of Psalms.

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I had my eyes glued to the mileage gauge as we move. Everything was smooth until we got to Sagamu except for his occasional daring moves which ruffled me. Anytime he was going over 160km/h I was not comfortable but what could I do than to clamp my hands? Two times I had my teeth gritting my tongue as he overtook trailers in an unsafe road bend.

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We had a flat tyre in Sagamu. That was a minor thing and a good location. When it was taking much time to fix the spare tyre, I stepped out against his will. He was about to move after fixing the tyre when I asked why can we wait to repair the spoilt tyre just in case of emergency on the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway where it would be difficult to get a vulcanizer.  He snubbed me and casually retorted ‘Sir, why are you wishing us bad things?’. At that moment, I had no choice but to keep quiet as I was not even getting support from the other younger passengers. Well, no problem, we are all in it. I said silently.

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Out of instinct, my eyes panned to the new fixed spare tyres. Oh my God! It was flat, with no thread, and could puncture if pressed hard with a thump. Yet, there were 8 people on the bus. It was not a case of an expired trye, it was about its state. The tyre already had holes and tiny wires were already coming out. I drew the driver’s attention to it. He said assuredly that nothing would happen and I should have faith. ‘This tyre would take us to Ibadan. God is with us’, he stressed. Would I say otherwise? Yes, God is with us. Left with no choice, I joined my faith and fate with him. He ignored my fury countenance and jumped into his seat.

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Now, I needed more prayers and kept a close watch to ensure he did not overspeed as we connected to the main Lagos-Ibadan Expressway.

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The overstressed tired tyre started dancing as we moved. Other passengers started praying. Now, we had all settled for an unfit tyre and asked God to make the tyre fit on the motion.

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Anyway, we arrived in Ibadan safely and the driver looked at me like a champion and laughed. ‘Oga, se I told you that the tyre will take us to Ibadan. Even, I can still use the same tyre back to Lagos without problem’. He started preaching to me. ‘If you have one mind about anything, it would be so.’, he advised me. I shook my head and left.

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Our getting to Ibadan was a grace overstretched indeed. Do I believe in God’s grace? Yes. But it should not be taken for granted. Though we were lucky, others might not.

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On the way back, I decided not to check the tyres of the commercial bus to avoid blood pressure. I gazed at the dashboard to see our speed but everything was blank. The brake pedal was tied with an iron string while the driver struggled with keeping the steering on the lane. In all these, the driver still had the mind to be answering phone calls and even initiated some. I had to warn and threaten him.

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To him, the side mirrors are not necessary and since we are in the dry season too, the wiper is not needed.

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When we read of road accidents caused by tyre bursts and people dying due to the carelessness of one person, we are always quick to attribute traffic accidents to the fate factor, forgetting the laws of cause and effect. That is ungodly, especially when we knowingly left undone the basic rule of driving

If the drivers are careless on the road, the passengers are also accomplices for ignorantly and sheepishly surrendering their fate to the discretion, judgment, and idiosyncrasy of the driver. They don’t make some demands on the state of the vehicle and insist on the right driving habits by the driver. Instead, we

prefer to recite the Book of Psalms and recite the rosary.

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Our commercial drivers are typical Nigerians in other spheres. We elect fraudsters and pray to God for responsible governance. We want accountability in governance without holding government officials accountable. We throw dirt on the road and we expect a clean environment. We don’t work hard and play by the rule of wealth creation but are quick to run to God for blessing. We close factories and rush to the mosques and churches to pray for employment for our youth. That is how godly we are

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In ‘Niaja’, we plant a garden and rush to pray to have beautiful scenery without dressing it. We want to keep fit but still want to compromise our lifestyle.

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We even desire to be the biggest economy by wishing and praying. Our youth have taken it further. They want to ride the latest autos through the shortest means possible – ala Yahoo plus and ritual.

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It is our way of life and that is okay. No surprise, we are in the situation we are now.

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When I meet my mentor again, I will ask him where we draw the line about cost savings when life is involved.

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We will not be a casualty of someone’s error or carelessness.

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As we travel this season, safe driving and commuting in Jesus’ name. But it is not much if we insist on the right thing from the commercial drivers.

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ISAMOTU is the

Executive Director, Brand Intelligence Limited and Editor, Infrastructure Development Magazine